Beautiful Dreamer. Come sing your song of love to me.
Numbers flash fluorescent from the night stand. 3:10. I toss and turn, look again. 3:14. My body is aching and cold. Every turn is pain. I don't feel like singing.
I form words in my head. You know I love you, Lord.
Thoughts turn to a friend who can't sleep. And another who lost everything but her family and faith in a fire. A sister coming to get me in 3 hours so she can have yet another procedure...and still no baby. Time is running out. I pray silent.
He whispers again, relentless. Beautiful Dreamer. Yes, that's you. Come sing to me.
Without words I reply. Lord, I need healing. So many need healing. What can I give You?
Come splash your love on me, and I will send it back on a moon-beam for all to see.
Beautiful words--did I say that to You, or You to me?
The clock flashes 4:10. My body hurts. I think I should be the one going for a procedure. I want to love Him, but I don't know how. I whisper words only He can hear, words I can't understand myself. They come from the deepest parts. Lord, speak. I need to hear your song of love for me. I...we...need mercy.
Believe, Daughter. I am here. Can you trust me when I don't do exactly as you think I should? Can you praise Me in your need?
I am tempted to gaze inward, to look for some reason--something that I did or didn't do--that prevents Him from answering my prayer, from sending the healing we so desperately need.
It's not about you.
I know, but...
But...I am working all things for your good. For every one of my children--because I love. I am here when you feel my presence, and when you don't. I am teaching you to trust, to love in the midst of the pain. When you can do this, you will know that there isn't anything that I haven't already done for you.
You will know you are Mine.
You will know Me.
Just believe. And sing. I want to hear your voice--sweet.
And Daughter, remember, praise brings the release.
Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her! ~ Luke 1:45 (NIV) |
Photo Courtesy: flickr - Feliciano Guimarães
I toss and turn with you...I know this place. Teaching trust...fill the empty places today
ReplyDeletexo
So, so beautiful! Sounds very much like my conversations with God.
ReplyDeleteYes, amen, praise brings the release! This I know for He has told me as well. Praise, worship, gaze on Him and Him alone and release comes.
God Bless you for sharing,
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There is always a little bit of God magic going on here. The conversations with God. The talking to someone not there, but more there than anything. It was beautiful. It feels good to know you do it too. Praise in the trial – not because of the trial – but because of his hand on and all over the trial. I’m blessed again. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteMelissa,
ReplyDeleteThis post spoke to me on so many levels . It is where I am now also. I needed this post and your ministry to me today. Sweet Friend I hope that the coming year will be your best year ever. I will keep you and your family in my prayers including your sister. I faced the infertility battle and loss and I know the hollow place it leaves inside. I feel so bad for Edie who lost her home in a fire.
Your blog is one of the best things I found in 2010.
so beautiful!
ReplyDeletethank you
HE WILL FULFILL HIS PROMISES! HE IS GOOD! Thanks for this beautiful post! Blessings to you and yours! Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteWhat gift you are...
ReplyDeleteto come here this evening and fill up on all of this beauty.
You see well, Melissa. You do.