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Saturday, October 16, 2010

More than Enough


Hungry  

Hungry I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus You're all
This heart is living for

Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life
So I wait for You
So I wait for You

© 1999 Vineyard Songs
(UK/Eire) 
Words and Music by Kathryn Scott

When I first heard this song I couldn't sing it without weeping.  I was dry and thirsty, crying out for a Savior, searching and desperately hungry to experience the God whom I had met once, but hadn't come near in a very long time.  

I heard many talk about Him as if they knew Him.  I read His story--the Bible--and believed He existed, that Jesus came to save me and live in my heart.  I got baptized, taught Sunday School, joined the women's missionary group and confessed my sins every day to a god I viewed as perpetually angry and disappointed with me.  I thought of myself as a Christian, a "little Christ," yet inside I was nothing like Him.

I went through the motions of day-to-day life, slowly dying, lonely and miserable, plagued with hopelessness, fear, anger, depression and addiction--to romance novels.  I was looking for love in the wrong places, and struggled constantly with the guilt and condemnation from it.  My family suffered.  I suffered.  The sad thing is...

...I knew about Jesus, and all around me I saw people professing Christ, but I couldn't find Him anywhere.
     
God sent two joy-full Canadians with a heart to worship.  We became friends.  They showed me The Way.  One night in prayer I was filled with the Holy Spirit--for the first time ever I felt a warm gush of joy and love bubble up from within me.  The next day my husband and I burned my books.  In their place I discovered the Bible--words that I had read before now came to life as the Spirit became my Teacher. 
   
I learned later how religion had stepped in long ago when I was still a girl, to masquerade as Holy Spirit.  Empty places that had just been swept clean were filled with fear and condemnation instead of love.  I was taught to focus on works and rules, and never introduced to the Spirit of God--the One who was sent by Jesus to give good gifts, to edify the body, comfort, convict, nurture, teach and lead us, deliver and heal us, feed us and fill us, to communicate with us the heart of heaven.

Fear of falling into evil and not measuring up had blinded me from knowing a loving Father and The One True God, who is Spirit, and must be worshiped in spirit and truth.  And somehow, like Eve in the garden, a body of believers was deceived into trading Holy Spirit for who they thought God should be.  We put Him in a box, and opened a door to the counterfeit--he who comes to steal, kill and destroy.  

But God never stays in our boxes. 
  



I have gotten to know Him again, the real Jesus.  I now sit at the table of the King, no longer feeding on the moldy crumbs and muddied water of man's agendas and religion's control, but on endless bounty.  The Spirit of Christ brings more than enough to fill me up, and satisfy my deepest longings--those meant for only Him to fill--over and over again.   I am changing to be like Him.  Love has a way of doing that.  

We become what we behold.

And I have seen the Father.  And He is not at all who I pictured Him to be--but One who loves unconditionally, sending His Son to suffer and die so I can know Him again, now and for eternity.  His arms are open.  He reaches low, and pours His Spirit out.  He is holy and good, more than enough to feed the hungry.


And now, Lord, what do I wait for?
 My hope is in You.
-  Psalm 39:7


Today, gratitude rises for:

49.  Hope that doesn't disappoint,

50.  And faith, that is anointed with Father's touch.

51.  His word--a feast,

52.  There is always more!

53. Hunger, that can only be satisfied through intimacy,

54.  And a heart that has learned to be with You where You are.

55.  Living Water that breaks open the box,

56.  And opens my eyes to see,

57.  Beauty.

58.  A Savior, a brother a friend,

59.  He who gives His life as broken bread,

60.  And becomes more than enough to feed the poor.

61.  A love that has no end,

62.  But reaches down to broken hearts,

63.  Heals a marriage and releases abundant life again.

64.  Perseverance--You have smeared it all over me,

65.  Like blackberry jam.

66.  Until I begin to taste and smell like You.

67.  Two friends with burning hearts to praise,

68.  And joy, like a fountain that bubbles up inside my soul,

69.  Love that travels 2,495 miles in a phone call,

70.  To let me know it will be okay.

71.  For today,

72.  And another chance to bless Your Name.


I join every Monday with Ann Voskamp and the community of gratitude-givers in appreciating God's graces.  Click on the button below to read other grace lists....



holy experience



Hungry has become my "theme song."  I sing it today with the same desperation of 15 years ago, no longer hopeless, but with a heart that sees and knows the living, loving touch of God.  He comes, again and again and again...as I wait for Him.  He will come to you too, if you ask. Let us all be hungry for more of God!

Click here to listen to Kathryn tell the story behind the song.

Click to read more about my Journey of Gratitude.

Photo Courtesy of: flickr - Kelsey LoveFusionPhoto
Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.  As taken from Bible Gateway.

7 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post- what a joy to be His, yes?

    Thank you for your kind words, too!

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  2. Thank you Tracy, and yes, there is much joy!

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  3. Oh I am so excited to read about your Love Journey with Him. Wonderful. Isn't His lavish love, mercy, grace and peace AMAZING!
    Thanks for your kind comments at my place. I hope to meet often at Ann's place.
    Elizabeth
    http://www.justfollowingjesus.com

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  4. You know Mesissa you said it right...God does not live in box's. In fact, although I do attend a denomination, I see myself solo as a Christ follower... I am saddened on here at times when people refer to their "religeon" as the one and only true one. They don't actually say those words but everything revolves around a certain name...Instead of the name above all names, Jesus. God Bless your journey. Hugs xx

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  5. this is beautiful... i love your heart's cry... and i'm learning this too, friend. xo

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  6. Elizabeth, Crystal and Emily: I love the beauty of God I see in each of you; and though we have never met face to face, I feel the connection. Hugs to you, new friends.

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I welcome and appreciate your kind words and comments.